I seriously think there needs to be a class for parents to learn how to discipline. I would pay out the wazoo to learn how to without laughing. It just reassures me to never take Brody to Target alone again. I am batting 0-2 here. We are in the check-out line and he gets pissed because I won’t let him open his toy until we get home. Everything went downhill from there. Crying, screaming, kicking… I’m not sure who was more embarrassing… my wailing 3 year old – or me – just standing there laughing. I was so mad all I could do was laugh. Then I made the ultimate parenting mistake… I called Kacy, said, talk to your son, he’s throwing a fit and handed the phone to Brody. Needless to say the rest of our night was a nightmare. I was in such a foul mood, Kacy & Brody pretty much forced me out the door to stay the night with my mom. As soon as we pulled up to my mom’s Brody said “Okay mom, you can get out now.”
Last Sunday we had my family over to cookout and set up Brayden’s room. What a beating. First off, I now know why we always have it at my mom’s house. Everyone is worthless – they come over, enjoy all the food, destroy Brody’s playroom and bail. As I’m giving them the W T F look, my mom is like, now you know how it feels, as she’s walking out the door and fell flat on her face! Just kidding. But I did imagine the last part in my head. I will say the highlight of the night was Brody giving Anthony a black eye. Freaking greatness. Not only because he is 4 times his size and 5 years older, but because it made Brody so mad to talk about it. Apparently Brody threw one of his dinosaurs and it bounced up and hit Anthony right beside his left eye. Instantly hysterical crying. You would have thought someone ripped up his Pokémon cards. Anthony comes down the stairs blaming Brody and of course Brody’s pissed screaming “I DIDN’T MEAN TO, I DIDN’T MEAN TO.” Any time we would bring it up Brody would grit his teeth and yell that it was an accident.
After they leave I’m sitting downstairs relaxing when I hear Kacy and Brody yelling at each other across the house.
Brody: DAD, come here
Kacy: What Brody?
Brody: I have poop on my pee-pee
Kacy: How did you get poop on your pee-pee?
Brody: When I went poop it got on my pee-pee
***Kacy finally walks into the bathroom***
***Brody is scrubbing the crap out of himself with a wet wipe***
Brody: I can’t get it off
Kacy: Brody, that’s a freckle
Brody: What’s a freckle?
Kacy: It’s a dot on you
Brody: (upset) like, forever?
Kacy comes downstairs to tell me the story and right away I’m thinking the following:
- Can you please teach your son the anatomical name
- Why is it taking him almost four years to see the freckle
- Why are you interrupting my show
I feel like my life is consumed with Brody and his poop. First we couldn’t get the kid to poop to save our lives… and now, that’s all he does.
I came home from work Thursday and he’s downstairs with the door open pooping. I’m trying to make my way upstairs to change and I’m about to pass out from the smell:
Me: Brody, it stinks, flush the toilet
Brody: After I pull my pants up
Me: No, now, it smells bad
Brody: Well then, go upstairs
My doctor’s appointment on Friday blew balls! I’m convinced my doctor and Brayden want me to be completely miserable and don’t want to work with me at all. I am officially bigger than I was with Brody and still have another 4 weeks to go. I am about to have to piss in a urinal because my stomach is so close to touching the toilet seat. The only thing getting me through this is the joy I get talking to my sister and Aaron. I want to know how you can be an ER nurse and a Trauma nurse and faint when someone talks about delivering. Anytime I have a contraction they lose all the coloring in their face and freak the F out. Last night, I was talking about my water breaking and how I was sure Brayden’s hand was coming out my vagina… They were both like… and it’s time to go. What a bunch of titty babies.
Below is a picture from 2 weeks ago. I'm thinking about having it painted in our bedroom. Then when I get baby fever again, I will just give a BJ and adopt.
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