Motivation is the key to
everything. Wait, or is it
vindictiveness? Mr. Prim & Proper Pissy
Pants Jerk-face got all bent out of shape over the Bacardi Story in my previous
blog. I tried to explain to him that
sometimes, good people make bad decisions. When that didn’t work, I tried to
relate with him. I probably drank gin
& tonic at least 30 times before I turned 5 and, HELLO, Nikki ate pot when
she was only nine months old. Look how
we turned out? Okay, well maybe those
aren’t the best examples, but still.
Shit happens and if you can’t laugh about it or rub it in people’s face,
then what’s the point of living?
So I gave Kacy and ultimatum;
either let me write about what I want, the good, the bad, and the ugly; or I’ll
write about each sexual encounter we have: Position, timespan, location, etc.
So, here we are…Last night was out of this world, sensual, and orgasmic... Okay
ewe, I just threw up in my mouth; enough of that.
A few weeks ago, Brody tried to
tell us every week during the summer is “Electronic Week” at school. Preposterous, I say!!! After confirming with the school Brody was not
fibbing we decided to oblige. Brody was bringing his Nintendo 3DS and
everything was going great until Kacy decided to get sick. He calls me at work just about as livid as
can be. I’m thinking the boys took a
baseball bat to all 7 TVs and 4 computers.
Kacy had picked up the boys from school and much to his surprise, Brody
had his iPad with him instead of the DS we had agreed on. Before you take his side, hear me out. Kacy was quarantined at home and Brody was
sad, upset, and missing his daddy so I decided to let him bring his iPad
knowing it would cheer him up. Let’s be honest here, he’s had it
f.o.r.e.v.e.r., he’s done great with it and technically it’s out of date now so
it’s time for a new one anyway. As they
are driving home, Kacy looks over in horror as he sees Brody typing in a
password for the iPad. He completely
interrogates him and finds out he put a password on it, added FaceTime and took
1,284 pictures at school. Honestly, the
only thing I’m bitter about is that we still had to pay for school that day
when Brody entertained his entire class.
Brody, Brayden & I politely told Kacy to F-off. It’s not like he’s hiding stuff, there’s no
p0rn on there, nothing was damaged, and the pictures are quite
entertaining.
Most of you know my mom &
aunt are in Costa Rica right now, probably getting mugged as we speak. Their trip has been in the works since
September. Well, Kacy informed me the
week before he had to go out of town
the exact same time! How flipping convenient. What’s a girl to do without her biatch or her
back-up-biatch? Let me introduce you to my
houseguest for the week; the one person who is more worthless, clueless and non
(ma/pa)ternal than me…Frank Colletti. It
started out pretty rough but with lots of praying, bribing, window tinting and
a 5:00 PM bedtime curfew, we made it.
My dad had one very simple
reoccurring task: Pick the kids up from school and take them to house. Easy enough, right? WRONG! He gets to the
boys school, goes into Brayden’s classroom and of course Brayden takes off
running towards him screaming “Grandpa, Grandpa”. Rules are rules; the teacher didn’t know my
dad so she wouldn’t let him take Bray without proper identification. So off he went to get his driver’s license
leaving behind a hysterical baby. They
finally make it to their destination only to realize he doesn’t have my house
key on him. I can’t even make this sh!t
up if I tried. It’s like the time he took
us to San Antonio for a family vacation, we wake up and we’re back in
Dallas. “WTF” we ask. His response: I didn’t like the way I came so
I decided to start over.
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment