Because I am such an amazing wife, mother and aunt, I took Kacy, Brody and Anthony to see Happy Feet Friday night at Studio Movie Grill. What a terrible movie. Of course Anthony loved it, that kid loves everything. After 30 minutes Brody was begging to go home. Apparently my family hasn’t learned movie etiquette yet… Kacy was talking on his cell phone during the previews and of course I’m 3 seats away so I can’t punch him in his nuts. I tried the whole “Telephone” game, but with a 3 & 8 year old that got me nowhere. Anthony asked 80 million questions throughout the movie. I was one question away from backhanding him. And Brody waited for every quiet part in the movie to announce he wanted to go home, the movie was boring and he was tired. On Demand from now on. Oh, and as we are leaving Anthony had to piss for the 10th time, so Kacy takes him while Brody and I wait hand and hand right beside the restroom. There is the terrible brat acting up (if it was my kid I would have given her an uppercut to her horse like jaw). The mom proceeds to say “You need to behave, you see that little boy, look how good he is behaving waiting for him mom”. I’m thinking SERIOUSLY? What did she think I was his knocked up sister? I totally had to cuss her out for that one…. In my head of course.
I got the bright idea to re-do Brody’s playroom this weekend. I always come up with new ideas and in my head I think they will take 30 minutes and be super cheap, yet somehow it never works out that way. My mom also learned her lesson to never help me again. She is just going to pay someone to do the work. So it’s a win-win for me. First we had to clean the cluster f*ck of a room. Then we had to empty out the ball-pit which was filled with 1,400 balls, a penguin, two mini-basketballs and some racecars. And when I say “we” I mean my mom and Anthony. I would have helped but I wasn’t really in the mood. We recovered the ball pit with new fabric and for a minute I thought Tim Allen was standing in my very own house, but apparently he just took over my mom’s body for a little bit. I guess you can’t use a nail gun without grunting like a fool. Two hours later and WALLA…..
Then somehow I turn into the bad guy because I wouldn’t let Brody play in it. I don’t understand why he can’t nicely play, instead he feels the need to act like the Tasmanian devil. I have everything organized in certain bins or designated areas and he sprawls it out like a 2 year old. Well, I have news for you buddy, you’re 3, so get with it.
I never thought I’d say this but the two people I thought were the toughest people in this world are total wusses. My mom and Kacy were the biggest babies this weekend. In their mind I was a total “B” this weekend. In my mind I was on my best behavior. I didn’t cuss them out on many occasions like I wanted to; I deserve a gold star for that alone. My mom kept saying it’s your tone Brittany, your tone. Seriously, are we in the 3rdgrade? My tone?!?!? It is going to be a miracle if I’m on speaking terms with anyone come March.
In my defense, how can I not be a tad bit b!tchy when I get an email from my loving mother that reads: Pretty soon we are going to need to get you this…
Summary:
This portion is dedicated to my spoiled rotten little brother who says he can’t get through a single blog of mine without falling asleep. He requested I just do a summary.
- Happy Feet Sucked – got insulted, couldn’t booze it up, Anthony pissed 10 times, Brody was loud & embarrassing, worse than he was at Morgan’s wedding
- Playroom renovation – Mom’s body was taken over by Tim Allen, vowed to never help me again
- Wusses – Mom & Kacy cried all weekend over their hurt feelings
- Mom’s email to me – you are a fat @$$, stop eating
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